Marriage, Relationships, and Couples
All couples have conflicts or disagreements at times. The difference between a happily married (or otherwise committed) couple and an unhappy union most frequently involves the ability to discuss and resolve those differences in a positive manner that respects the interests and needs of each individual.
Common problematic, damaging relationship communications usually include such interactions as:
- Hostility, or verbal or physical attacks on the other person
- Put-downs, name-calling or other contempt for your partner
- Dragging old information or experiences into a current argument
- Defensive responses
- Withdrawal from a disagreement
- Escalating negativity in the relationship
Couples counselling is often short-term. A few sessions can help you weather a crisis. Or, you may need marriage counselling for several months, particularly if your relationship has deteriorated over time.
In couples counselling, I usually see both members of the couple together, although I may, on occasion, also see each person individually. My goals in counselling are to help couples:
- Improve communication patterns
- Develop empathic, active listening skills
- Improve problem-solving skills
- Resolve conflicts in ways that meet the needs of both partners
- Explore ways for old wounds (from this or previous relationships) to be healed
- If possible, find ways to stay together in a positive and mutually satisfying relationship
- If not possible to stay together, then to separate in a healthy and respectful way